Tennessee Road Trip Part Isa (1)

 A man could be a lover and defender of the wilderness without ever in his lifetime leaving the boundaries of asphalt, powerlines, and right-angled surfaces. We need wilderness whether or not we ever set foot in it. We need a refuge even though we may never need to set foot in it. We need the possibility of escape as surely as we need hope; without it the life of the cities would drive all men into crime or drugs or psychoanalysis. - Edward Abbey


It's time for a road trip, a vacation taken by car across multiple states or, in the case of  the giant state Texas, a single state. My destination is the Smokey Mountains in Eastern Tennessee. It's a 600 mile, one way trip passing through Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennessee. I have not been on a significant road trip for many years. In my younger days, I used to take one extensive road trip every year over the course of two weeks. I have road tripped to Arizona, California, Colorado, Utah, Montana, Texas, and both Dakotas.

The first and only time I went to the Smokys was in the fall of 1987, the year my 1st child was born. I went alone because my daughter and her mother went on a month long visit to her ancestral home half way around the world. I had missed peak fall foliage season. Nonetheless, the colors were beautiful and had much more variation than the colors in the Midwest where I live.

The Smoky's are home to many white tailed deer and large population of black bear. On my 1987 trip, I was lucky enough to see black bear from relatively short distance. There was a family of them in a meadow fattening up for the winter hibernation. There was also a herd of sightseers that approached the bear family for a closer look. I also approached the bear family but made sure the human herd was between me and the bear. If the bear were going to attack I had a protective barrier. And many of the human herd were on the plump side so I was sure I could outrun some, if not all, of them in the event of an emergency. 

My first evening there, a found a nice camping site where I threw out my sleeping bag. I tend to not use a tent because I like to sleep beneath the stars and rise with the sun. The night was filled with the sounds of animals unfamiliar to me. Sometime in the dead of night, I heard a scratching sound in the vicinity. A bear? I lay still and waited. Soon the sound was beyond me. It did not sound big so I shone my flashlight and what I saw was just a scary as a bear. Caught in the light beam about 10 yards away was a skunk. It started to stamp its hind feet, a warning before it shoots the vile stink. I turned off the beam and tucked my head into my sleeping bag hoping I would not be sprayed. A few minutes passed before I peaked again and gladly found the skunk to be gone. I spent the rest of the night in the back of my pickup truck. I hiked for the next couple of days then took the long drive home.

I hope this upcoming trip to the Smoky's has some of the same excitement as the last trip.

Moments of Truth

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ~ Author Unknown 

Over the past few years, I have been on more dates than I can remember. I am an equal opportunity dater. I don't discriminate on the bases of ethnicity. Most dates follow pretty much the same dance; greetings, opening pleasantries, eat or drink, discuss safe topics then parting. During each date, I find, there are moments of truth when you know if you want to see this person again. These moments of truth are frequently associated with what I call deal breakers.

Age is one of my deal breakers. The people I date tend to be middle-aged. I can't date anyone in their 20s because I have daughters and dating someone I could have fathered is gross. To me, it feels lecherous! 30s is also an issue because they tend to want kids. I love my kids but don't want to go through all the pain of raising them again. I would have more if they could be birthed at the age of 18 or so.

The first aspect of a woman I notice is her face. Many of the women I meet for a date I find through a dating service. These services allow for the posting of pictures and I contact women that I find attractive. It's amazing how many of the women I have met that looked nothing like their online presence. Do they really think I would not notice the picture online is from ten years earlier? If they lie to me with their images which I can see, I don't trust them to tell the truth about things I can't see.

Let's say the woman is pretty, of the proper age, a great personality, a good conversationalist and also meets my preferences of being a brunette with a skin tone darker than mine. The latter is generally the case because my skin tone is just slightly darker than fresh fallen snow. All things being equal, I have one more deal breaker that I must knock off my list before the date is over.

I prefer to have dates where a lot of liquid is ingested. This may be at a coffee shop where we talk for a couple of hours over a bottomless cup of coffee or over a dinner where I make sure the woman has ample beverages to consume. Alcohol isn't necessary but it does help along with my discovery process. I have them drink a lot because, I know, at some time during the evening they are going to have to excuse themselves for a trip to the bathroom and that's when I make the final decision on whether I want to see them again.

As they get up and walk to the bathroom, I get a good look at their butt. Some guys are boob guys and some are leg guys and some guys are content with a warm body. I happen to be a butt guy. I like a nice curvy butt, one that fills the jeans, perhaps, even stretches the jeans. Flat ones just don't do it for me. A flat butt means I don't want a second date. For me, a great butt is a moment of truth in my dating life.

I Write

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin

I write to entertain, to inform, to instruct, to confuse, to exasperate.
I write to open eyes and to obscure vision.
I write to bring clarity and to obfuscate truth.
I write to challenge, to irritate, to provoke, to piss off.
I write to fan the flames of emotion so they burn fiercely in hearts.
I write to make others think thoughts that might never be without the prodding of words.
I write to unleash peoples hidden demons in the hopes they generate the courage to conquer their fears.
I write to force people to face ideas they have been avoiding for ideas rule the hearts of man.
I write to push people out of their comfort zones so the tiny spaces they feel comfortable in expand to ever greater concentric circles.
I write to capture concepts poking at the periphery of my consciousness which, if not captured, are lost forever.
I write to crystallize amorphous thoughts into tangibles I can scrutinize, expand upon, and, perhaps, discard as pure folly.
I write because my spirit is driven to connect with the world, is painfully alone without other spirits for company.
I write for these and countless other reasons I both understand and cause me to be puzzled.
Primarily, I write because my soul is confused and I am desperate to understand myself.

My 27 Year Love Affair

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might lover her, and foolish, the she might love him - Unknown

I have been involved in a love affair for 27 years and counting. Not once during those years has my love ever faltered, ever faded, ever waned. On the contrary, my love has steadily grown over the years and I don't see this ever changing. My affair has outlasted my marriage and is older than my children. My kids met her once and were enchanted by her grace and beauty. When all my loved ones are gone, she will be there for me, waiting with open arms. Never once has she lied to me or cheated on me or deceived me. She has always been honest, sometimes brutally honest and for that I respect her.

I don't get to see her very often but when I do, I love to play on her mounds, explore every crack and cranny sometimes for days on end. We have hiked together, backpacked together, mountain biked together, and run rivers together. We have lain naked together and watched the moon light up the night sky and silhouette bats flying overhead in impossible staccato movements as they hunt for insects.

I have not seen her in almost a year which makes my heart ache. I don't know when I will see her again but I know she will be ever waiting for me, ready to hold me and caress me for as long as I desire. When we are together, my soul opens and I learn things about myself that I have learned from no one else.

I first learned of her via the words of my all time favorite author, Edward Abbey, in his book Desert Solotaire. It was love at first read. I devoured every book he wrote about her and every book he wrote that alluded to her. I read everything I could find about her. My love deepened and I knew, no matter what it took, no matter what it cost me, I had to meet her.

We first met in the Spring of 1986. I had to drive 1500 miles in a Toyota Celica for us to finally meet. I slept in the car so as to complete the journey with minimal delay. I arrived in the dead of night. Rather than setup my tent, I slept on the ground in my down sleeping bag so my eyes could caress her when I opened them in the morning. 

I awoke predawn to the song of birds, songs urging the sun to rise yet again, songs praising the awakening sun. I stood naked in the chilled air eagerly anticipating my love. The first beams broke the horizon and I saw her in all her red splendor. She, the Canyonlands of South Eastern Utah, were breathtaking, more beautiful than words or pictures could ever portray. I was surrounded by the bizarre redrock formations and was completely awed, utterly speechless, deeply in love with this otherworldly landscape that seems impossible, surreal yet is very real.


I don't know when she and I will get together again. It may be a year, maybe 10 years. I do know though that when I visit her we will pick up lover affair where it left off last year and it will be as if we never parted.

Fat Bottomed Girls

Are you gonna take me home tonight?

Oh, down beside that red firelight;

Are you gonna let it all hang out?

Fat bottomed girls,

You make the rockin' world go round.

- Queen

When it comes to finding a mate, we all have our preferences. Those preferences are linked to that elusive chemistry which cannot be defined. You know chemistry like you know the wind is blowing. It's something you feel. Sometimes you feel it so strongly it knocks you over and takes your breath away.

There are as many preferences as there are people in the world. Some like their partner to be tall while others prefer shorties. Heaviness appeals to some while others prefer a woman to be lithe. They say blondes have more fun but I have read the brunettes are happier. If you go by the advertising media, you would think the ideal woman is tall and sickly skinny with huge rack. Me, well as you may have guessed by the title of this blog, I prefer fat bottom girls. Fat bottom may be a misnomer in my case as I don't like lard butts like the woman who sat next to me on my last plane ride that was so big she spilled into my seat. I like a woman with an hourglass figure with a posterior that lets you know she is a woman. Forget those Victoria Secret models. Give me a J-Lo!

I don't know when or why this preference occurred but I do know that it is strong preference. For me, a woman without a curvy booty simply isn't very attractive. She can be perfect in every other way, but without a nice booty, well, she just isn't for me.

Taste of a Kiss

She floats like a swan, grace on water, Sugar Kisses, Sugar Kisses - Echo & The Bunnymen

She has the softest lips and gives the sweetest kisses - little kisses, long kisses, and all the kisses in between - brushed lips, pressed lips, open lips, tongue parted lips. I am not talking peck kisses here such as one would give when greeting a friend. I am talking kisses filled with emotion, passion where the mind, body, perhaps even the soul are touched in a profound way that rivals the mysteries of the universe. Each kiss unique. Each kiss simultaneously telling inner secrets and asking questions of the heart.  Kisses that bond two individuals in an inextricable embrace. Kisses that both satisfy and leave a hunger for more.

There is nothing so sweet as the taste of a kiss!

Let Me Show You...

Let me show you the world in my eyes - Depeche Mode

Conflict, both good and bad, is a fact of life. If conflict is spun for good, the result can be great sporting events where two finally tuned teams create a spectacle for the ages. Too often, conflict turns bad. The conflict of two parties when unchecked can grow like concentric circles until the conflict encompasses groups, cities, countries resulting in tragedy, murder, wars, death.

Conflict, when unresolved, keeps people from interacting effectively. Walls go up, bunkers of stubbornness are created to keep the other out while, ironically, also keeping the builder trapped within.

I have seen unresolved conflict destroy teams when either of the parties in conflict refuse to view from the other's perspective. I have witnessed a situation where two key people on a team are in conflict and the conflict was dragging down an entire team. The resolution plan of one is to jump ship to a different team. This will put a band-aid on the problem but do nothing to address the root cause. A root cause not addressed will fester and continue to poison until it consumes.

I have discussed the situation with one of the persons in the conflict and, during our discussion, noticed an inability, possibly an unwillingness, to view the situation thru the eyes of the other. The eyes could not see past the bunker, could not see that there was a possibility the other's view may have some hint of validity. The bunker was silently voiced as I am right so the other person must change.

What if one of them tried to change their own actions? What if they adjusted their behavior to what was wanted of the other? Would the problem have been resolved? Possibly not. Possibly yes. I can't pretend to know if the problem would ever be resolved.

But I do know that the person who tried to change would see the world differently. I do know that the person who tries to see from another's perspective is more open to alternative views of reality. I know this because I used to view life only through my own eyes and expected everyone to conform to my view of reality. Living...not living... existing this way I was lonely and alone.

Once I began attempting to see another's perspective a new world opened up before me. Black and white became shades of grey then hints of color. The colors grew gradually more vibrant then became vivid. Life is now a kaleidoscope of ever changing colors and patterns of unending wonder which brings me joy each and every day.