New Beginnings

Genuine beginnings begin within us, even when they are brought to our attention by external opportunities. ~William Throsby Bridges

As has been my Christmas tradition for the past 18 years, I attended Christmas Eve services at my church, Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois with my family, those people closest to my heart in all this world. The pastor's message, New Beginnings, referenced his coming to faith. His message reminded me of my coming to faith through the teachings at this church 19 years ago. I was a prodigal son that returned to church after many years of rebellion. It was a drastic change for me, a change so unlikely that many of my friends had a hard time believing I had become a Christian.

My first Christmas after my new beginning found me at Willow Creek. I volunteered to work in the children's ministry with the 2 and 3 year olds for the first service on Christmas Eve. I don't know why I chose to work with toddlers, perhaps because my kids were young and I was missing them because, per the divorce decree they were spending Christmas Eve with their mom. I had so much fun playing with the toddlers, I came back for the rest of the services that day that offered child care, I think there were 5 in total, before heading up to the auditorium for the final service of the day where I sat, alone, in a crowd of 4000 people.

A tradition at my church is built around the closing song, Silent Night. As the song is sung, we go to members of our family, the loved ones we are with, embrace them and tell them that we love them. It's an emotional time for all. At that first service, I stood there alone watching the magic of families sharing love wishing someone was there with me, someone with whom I could share my love. One of the guidelines at the end of service hug fest is that you don't do anything strange with people you don't know because, in some family traditions, slobbering is expected while in others it's taboo. While I was standing there missing my kids, a gentleman next to me ignored the don't do anything strange with people you don't know recommendation and hugged me. It was a much needed hug at that moment in my life.

For this, my 19th Christmas Eve, I was there with two of my three children, my grandson, my son-in-law and some of his relatives. As Silent Night played, we all hugged, said our I love you along with the several thousand people in the auditorium. It was at that moment that I felt the spirit of Christmas wash over me, the spirit of love that defines the season. The joy was not complete because I also felt the pain of absence for one of my children, for my son who was not at church for he has chosen to no longer attend church. It's a decision with which I don't agree but I respect that it is his decision. Before leaving church for the evening, I said a prayer for my son, a prayer which, if answered, will see my son return to church for his new beginning.