Past Lives

Seasons change and so did I, you need not wonder why, you need not wonder why ~The Guess Who


It defined 20 years of my life, was the centerpiece of many of my waking hours, was the cornerstone of our lives. It defined our weekends, weekday evenings, was how we measured the passing seasons of our lives. The year always began in August, our Fall season, followed by Indoor season and Spring season which lasted until mid June where upon we took a couple of months off before starting again. And I loved every minute of it. The it was soccer, specifically, my kids playing soccer. I watched, I coached, I cheered. For almost 20 years, it defined the rhythm of our lives.

These were my thoughts as I watched my seven year old grandson, the next generation, playing recently. Once when he was asked if he would like to try other sports, basketball, baseball, he declined. His comment, "No. I want to play soccer. It's what our family does." Out of the mouths of babes.

Those years were some of the best years of my life, some of the happiest, some of the most frustrating. When they played high school and college, I was no longer coaching them. During their games, I would sit high in the stands for the overall view, and in the corner as far from other parents as possible with headphones on so I wouldn't have to listen to their inane comments about the referees, the coaches, or anything else they didn't agree with. I was perfectly content just watching them play, to just watch the joy the received from participating in this most beautiful of games.

I coached my grandson a year ago, coached thinking it would rekindle the great joy I experiened from coaching young kids, the great fun I had given up 5 years previous to help raise my grandson. But it wasn't there, the passion wasn't there, the joy wasn't there. I was surprised because I used to coach multiple teams and couldn't wait to leave work and get to the fields, couldn't wait to watch the kids learn, watch them have fun.

I thought about that for many days, still think back to why I no longer had the passion to coach, no longer found joy in instructing young kids in the art of soccer but coud find no rhyme or reason. The only thing I could think of is that I changed, that there was a season in my life where coaching filled something in me that is no longer empty, no longer seeking completion.

I guess it's true that everything has a season and my season of coaching had gone the way of leaves in the fall.