Hands of Time

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. ~Socrates


"We all die. It's a part of life."

That phrase was one of the last, lucid things my dad said to me before cancer finished devouring his body from the inside out. At the time, he was bed ridden and frequently hopped up on morphine to numb the ever present pain. Actually, it had to be agony because my dad had a high tolerance for pain. I was sitting next to him, trying to communicate hoping he would have a moment of clarity in the haze. I remember saying with tears in my eyes that I did not want him to die. I think it was the serenity in his voice that gave me comfort at that moment, the wisdom in his words that allowed my heart to find peace during a difficult life event.

I have often wondered if I could, would I turn back the clock of my own life, spin those hands backwards to an hour ago, a day ago, months ago, years ago, decades ago. Spin those hands back to a time when I was in my physical prime. As much as I miss the ability to move quickly during a soccer game to even play soccer pain free or recover quickly from injury, I don't want to go back to my youth.

That likely shocks many because society in the US puts an inordinate emphasis on youth. So much so that people, who must have shaky self confidence at best, spend countless dollars on schemes (drugs, therapies, surgeries, Botox) to try and make themselves appear young, to stave off the steady march of time carrying us from uterus to dust. The only person they are fooling is themselves for everyone else sees their folly.

In our societies obsession with the utopia of youth, we forget that, in our youth, most of us, to put it kindly, lacked wisdom.

Going back to my youth would mean, for me, going back to my stupidity. Honestly, I am very happy and more than a little surprised that I survived the stupidity of my youth. I was a reckless individual, reckless with my own life and intolerant of anyone that did not measure up to my standards, standards that were arbitrary at best and heavily biased at there worst.

Even more surprising than surviving my youth is that I have gradually moved in the direction of wisdom. It is wisdom that helped me, eventually, become a decent father. It is the further acquisition of wisdom that has helped me become a better grandfather than I believe I was a father. It is wisdom that has, in my later years, helped me become a solid leader in my work place. It is wisdom that is helping me grow relationships that escaped me in my youth. It is my wisdom that finds me these days a very happy human being.

Wisdom is the reward we reap for surviving the insanity of our youth.

It's time people smartened up and stopped the impossible quest to maintain youth. It's time they chose to embrace the benefits that comes with each passing year instead of living the frustration that comes from their folly. Unfortunately, it seems, those that most need wisdom are also those least likely to acquire wisdom.

To paraphrase the wisdom of my dad; "We all age, it's a part of life." I hope someday to have half of the wisdom my dad carried to the grave. If I do, I will truly be a blessed man.