Hunting Heads

Chose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius 

I received a voice mail on my mobile from a Head Hunter or, the more politically correct - Recruiter, the other day while at work. I waited to return the call on my way home from the office because I consider it unethical to discuss a position with a different company while on my current company's time. This is the second Head Hunter I have talked to this year after a number of fallow years indicating to me that the job market in improving. The position, which someone who supposedly knew me told her I would be good for, was as a Product Manager in Indiana. I found that kind of odd because anyone that knows me would know that a Product Manager roles is more Marketing focused and the work I like is on the Product Development side in Engineering. Also, Indiana? Really? Other than the mountain biking mecca that is Brown County, why would anyone want to spend extended time in Indiana?

With that part of the conversation put to bed, she asked what kind of work I am interested in and asked what I would require in a salary to change jobs. While that may seem like two separate questions, they are for me, two sides of the same coin. If the work is similar to what I am doing now, then a substantial salary jump would be required to entice me away from my current company. I work for a company where I am comfortable and enjoy my coworkers, a company that and has a large global presence which opens opportunities around the world, opportunities very few companies can offer. Unfortunately, those opportunities are few and far between these days which is why I took the time to talk with this recruiter. I do have dreams and thought, maybe, she might have something which would match my aspirations.

If the recruiter had an offer for an opportunity that would tap into a passion of mine or one in which I would have the opportunity to make a significant impact on others or if the work would make a difference in the world, my salary requirements would be less. I want a job that I enjoy so much it never seems like I am working, a job I love so much that I would pay to do it.

The type of work I would like, I told her, is one with a leadership position that requires working in a global context with people grounded in cultures that are not US based. Leadership and developing leaders is one of my passions and working with other cultures is another. Leadership is a topic I have been fascinated with since my first leadership position as a supervisor and is the subject I read about most frequently. I frequently look for ways to grow my leadership abilities and to help others grow theirs. I also love to learn how people in other cultures operate, to understand how their actions tie back to their underlying values, to travel to their land and experience the ebb and flow of their lives, and how I can adjust my behaviors to most effectively work in their cultural context.


Combine the leadership and cultural awareness and travel with my predilection for starting new initiatives, and we have a match made in Heaven, more accurately, that would be bringing Heaven down to Earth for me. I told her, ideally, I would like to help companies start new programs in other parts of the world that would make a difference in the lives of the people. I had such an opportunity with my current company five years ago when I was a project leader for a team that started co-developing software in India. The initiative stretched me in many ways, I grew in directions I had not even considered before taking on this challenge. I can honestly say, it was one of the most exciting experiences in my career. Since that time, I have felt frozen out of the program primarily because another, higher ranking manager has the responsibility for our overall offshore program.

She said she would be on the lookout for opportunities that would fit me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because I want a job so exciting that it will be my last thought before I shut my eyes, the one that will have me jumping out of bed in the morning before the alarm, the job I love so much it will feel like I never have to work another day in my life.

The Power of Words

Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is. --Publilius Syrus



I was talking to my buddy Mike the maintenance guy one day and he told me something that surprised me. He said he appreciated that, no matter who was around, I always said hi to him. That was not what surprised me. He went on to tell me that there were many people in the company who would only say hi to him when it was just the two of them but would not acknowledge him in the presence of others. I was shocked that others treated him this way. Mike did not deserve the awful treatment. He was a great guy and always in good humor. As much as I felt bad for Mike and the way he was treated, I felt even sorrier for the people who were so obviously insecure in themselves they felt the need to disrespect another human being in order to feel good about themselves. In essence, they treated him as untouchable, a non entity. We are all human, none better than the other no matter our job, our status, our color, our religion, our country of origin. Each of us has our own strengths, our own weaknesses, our own imperfections.

Words have power. And, in the case of my friend Mike, the lack of words also has power. Words have the power to hurt or to heal, to tear down or build up, to demean or to add value, to create division or to unite. Each of us has the power to use our words for negative or positive. Expressing kindness to someone with affirming words has the power to alter their mood in a positive direction which, hopingly, the person will pass on to others and so forth. In this way, a word is like a living organism that spreads through society, grows in strength, influencing those it touches, hopingly, changing them for the better.

Why use words to destroy when they can be used to convey friendship, affirmation, love? How much better a place the world would be if we would all harness the power of our words for good.

The Green Table

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu



In my family, we had a table in the kitchen. Most everyone had a kitchen table, however, not like our one of a kind, kitchen table. It was unique because it was crafted by my father, crafted in triangularish form out of oak and green Formica. Most everything my father designed and built for our home was some combination of oak and/or Formica for they were his favorite medium to express his artistic talents. To seat the six kids around the table, he made two benches out of oak, the seating area covered in padded pleather, each the length of one side of the table. Backrests were mounted to the wall. Dad made a lazy susan, again Formica covered, which sat in the middle of the table to help us pass food during our family dinners. Family dinners were an important part of growing up in my family and we had them most days of the week. This is a tradition that that doesn't seem to occur as much in our crazy busy society these days. I am heartened to see that my daughter is doing her best to bring this important time back to her family.

The green table was much more than a table. It was the hub of our lives. We were a family of 6 kids, 3 boys and 3 girls. We spent many hours in the kitchen for it was the centerpiece of our small home where everyone gathered multiple times during the day. For dinner, mom would ring the bell bolted to the soffit of our house. We knew, the entire neighborhood knew, the ringing of the bell meant it was time for us to go home for dinner.

We ate around the table, we talked around the table, we laughed uproariously around the table, we fought around the table, we cried around the table. Our home was the neighborhood grand central station where kids seemed to be ever present much to my mom's joy for she loved having kids around. When our friends came over, they frequently sat with us and my parents around the table talking about everything under the sun. The table was the center piece for most activities in my home. Get up in the morning and sit at the table. Come home from school and sit at the table. Return from playing a game and sit at the table. Before retiring to bed sit at the table.

There was a small TV mounted in the corner of the kitchen where we would sometimes watch Wild Kingdom just before mom served us our dinner. The TV was always turned off before we ate. I remember eating many delicious meals around that table with the family drinking, at least, one gallon of milk with every dinner. I remember dinners there that were more than dinners, they were times when we paused our busy schedules and connected with each other in meaningful ways. I fondly remember sitting at the table after dinner just chatting the hours away.

The table was where the foundation of our family was laid and grew strong. The foundation we built was so strong that to this day my siblings and I are closely knit, closely knit by a common thread that weaves our lives and our hearts together.  I remember many events that occurred in my kitchen. Mostly, I remember feeling loved while sitting at that green table.

Servant Leadership (Part 2) - Listening

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. ~Ralph Nichols

Without a doubt, the most important skill a Servant Leader can carry in his quiver is the ability to listen. The ability to listen to people, to hear both what a person is saying and not saying, is foundational to being a Servant Leader. The words spoken are a minor component in communication. Greater in communication is the tone of voice, greater still is a person's body language which gives voice to words unspoken, turbulence hidden beneath the calm surface of words, reveals if a person is speaking with joy, or angst, or distress, or deception, or, some other underlying emotion wherein lies the true message. Without the ability to listen, a Servant Leader, any leader for that matter, is at a distinct disadvantage in the leadership role because they receive but a tiny portion of a communication on which to make a decision. And making a decision with a sliver of information can be disastrous.

There are two types of listening; Listening to respond and listening to understand.

Listening to respond is akin to listening like a lawyer. The words a person speaks are not explored for underlying meaning, rather they are given superficial thought which serves to end a conversation early, gives ammunition to refute a person's stance or provide a knee jerk response.

Listening to respond was my default listening mode for many years and is one I still fall back on all too frequently. I used to pride myself in never losing an argument. I viewed many conversations as a competition and would continue talking until I won then I would gloat internally....probably externally too. Typically, when I am in mode of responding, I am more concerned about myself, my time, my feelings, my point of view than I am interested in anything the person has to say. If someone is not interested in what a person has to say, it's safe to say they are not really interested in the person, they don't value the person. People need to feel valued to enter freely into open communication. If a person does not feel valued, conversation will be measured; risky ideas, challenging ideas will not be expressed. Important information will be lost and this, for a leader, is unacceptable.

Listening to understand is not sitting quietly where the mind is prone to wandering. It is fully engaged listening, also known as active listening which is very different from listening to respond. Listening to understand requires putting one's own thoughts, one's own feelings, one's responses on the backburner to explore the thoughts of the speaker. It requires asking clarifying questions, watching body language, caring enough about the speaker to gently pull the hidden, unsaid to the surface of the conversation. Active listening is a dance between the speaker and the listener where each step requires synchronized activity by both participants lest the dance cease to flow. Listening to understand is listening with an open heart, is gifting your time to the speaker, showing the speaker that he is so valued you will do whatever is required to ensure you understand both the stated and unstated.

I remember one such conversation in my managerial career. A person reporting to me had an issue with her project lead and wanted me to tell her how to address the situation. I could have told her what to do in a couple of minutes but instead, I listened and probed and clarified and echoed back what I thought I was hearing. We spent two hours exploring options, discussing the impact from multiple angles, and playing out scenarios of the conversation she need to have with her colleague. In the end, the conclusion she settled upon was the same solution I had in my mind when she asked for help.

Was it a waste of my time? No. I believe this one conversation prevented many smaller, future conversations. The conversation validated her feelings, let her know her feelings had value outside of herself. This knowledge gave her a measure of the courage she needed to engage the colleague with whom she had an issue in a difficult conversation. The conversation was a manager investing in an employee which helped an employee develop as an individual. The conversation was a manager growing an employee for the betterment of both the employee and the company which, ultimately, is one of the core responsibilities of a leader.

Leadership - An Alternate View

If you don't understand that you work for your mislabeled 'subordinates,' then you know nothing of leadership. You know only tyranny. ~Dee Hock


One of the reasons I started a blog was to share my thoughts on leadership. Leadership development, in myself and those around me, is one of my passions. I spend a significant amount of my reading time reading about Leadership - leadership development and the lives of great leaders. I also attend a two day Global Leadership conference sponsored by my church. The teachings include both practical and inspirational talks from people in church and industry. For my money, it is the best leadership training to which I have been exposed. Until now, I have not really blogged about this passion of mine.

I have been a manager, either a project manager or a people manager, for most of my business career. This, for me, is quite the strange twist from how I envisaged my life as an Engineer tucked safely away in the corner working on things safely away from people. I spent 14 years as a soccer coach doing my best to lead youngsters into life brimming with the confidence that comes from success built on a solid foundation of hard work. I spent 4 years leading a Sunday school group of kids ranging from 2 through 5 years of age. For most of my leadership roles, I have lead people as a Servant Leader, a phrase coined by Robert Greenleaf and epitomized by the life of Jesus Christ.

Leader as Servant is quite the opposite of how society tends to view leaders which is typically someone in a command control role. It's the opposite of my temperament growing up where I, a first born male, generally viewed situations as being either my way or the wrong way. It took some major growth on my part to be able to lead by serving.

The most important part of being a Servant Leader is that you seek to server other's first. The Servant Leader mindset includes; sacrificing self-interest for the benefit of the team, putting people first and valuing them more than your own success, desiring to serve and care for others, leading by meeting the needs of the team.

If you think this is the opposite of how leadership is viewed by most, you are correct. This is leadership with an other-centric view. This is a difficult mindset and one that can't be faked. People are smart and will discover very quickly if you are not authentic in your desire to serve. Unauthentic servant leadership, I believe, is worse than being a dictatorial leader. Once people feel you have deceived them, betrayed their trust, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to win them back.

I have heard people describe Servant Leadership as a weak person's leadership style. They believe the servant leader is; subservient to the people being led and/or an exercise of abdicating authority to those being led. Neither could be further from the truth.

Servant leaders must upend the management pyramid to a mindset where they are on the bottom of the pyramid supporting their teams. Servant leaders must raise the bar of expectation by being highly selective in the choice of team members and by establishing high standards of performance. These two actions build a culture of performance throughout the team. The Servant Leader must also set a grand vision for the team because small visions to not cause a persons heart to beat fast. The servant leader must continue to espouse that vision when times get tough. Each of those actions is tough, taken together they require a very strong person.

How do you know if you have become a servant leader? With a simple, three question test:

1. Do those served grow as persons?
2. Do those served become wiser, freer, more autonomous?
3. Are those served becoming servants?

I would like to say that I have achieved my goal of being a Servant Leadership but I can't. I am definitely moving more and more in that direction but I still need to fight back my selfish desire, I still need to keep my ego in check, I still need to work on putting other's needs ahead of my own.

I am a work in process and that's not bad.All great human growth comes though a continuous, arduous  development process, a journey from here to there, where here is always the now and there is an ideal, a shining star on the horizon the guides our way. After all, the real joy is in the journey not the destination.

An Unlikely Leader

To lead people, walk beside them ... As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate ... When the best leader's work is done the people say, 'We did it ourselves!'" ~Lao-tsu

I did not start out to be a leader and can honestly say, growing up, I never saw myself as one who leads others. I was always a follower, one that rode on the coat tails of the cool kid. I venture to say, none of my friends ever saw me as a leader either. Funny thing, in High School during my Senior year, I was voted by my teammates as a one of the captains. I found this to be very strange and oft wondered if it was some cosmic mistake - make the shy kid a captain as it would be fun to watch him stumble. At the coin toss, I never called heads or tails. That was a responsibility I left to one of the other co-captains. When we took kicks from the penalty mark, a cruel way to determine a winner in a soccer match, at a tournament game, I abdicated all responsibility for a kick and let another player put himself on the line for the team.

My major in college was Engineering. This was in big part because I liked working with things much more than working with people. Things are predictable, clean, elegant where as people are confusing and relationships are messy. During the first phase in my career, I worked with things, my people interaction was minimal and I was happy in my work....or so I thought. A few years in, I wanted more responsibility in my department, I wanted to see the bigger picture, be one of the decision makers. I moved into a Supervisory role in my department when my boss received a promotion. I was a leader again. Not a very good one, mind you, but a leader nonetheless.


Truth be told, if anyone had asked me why I should be in a position to lead anyone, I would not have been able to give an answer. I was not charismatic, I was not brilliant, I was not dictatorial, I don't think I was power hungry. I would have had no idea why anyone would want to be led by me. As far as I could tell, I had no natural leadership abilities - no vision to cast, no motivational speeches to give, no inspirational words to share, and I wasn't eloquent. I pretty much lacked any tact when dealing with people, and was completely devoid of anything resembling empathy or compassion for anyone.

After a few years of being a Supervisor, I moved into Project Management. The big reasons were, I hated doing annual reviews and I wanted to move out of Manufacturing and into Engineering where, rumor had it, more money was to be made. The big difference in Project Management from Supervisory Management was that I had no authority. I had to get things done completely through people who had another boss. My job was to get things done, to bring projects to a successful completion. To do this as a Project Manager, I had to get things done through leadership skills as opposed to manager skills. And this is where things changed for me.

I saw my role as one of getting things out of the way for the people that did the real work of product development. It was my job to make sure they had the information they needed before they knew they needed it, to make sure they had the tools to complete the job at hand, and to shield them from any political garbage coming down from on top. It was my job to create an environment where they could do work. I was there to serve the needs of my team. I also began to see myself as someone who needed to let the people on the team know that I appreciated what they were doing. One year around the holidays, another Project Manager and I held a thank you celebration for our two teams. We brought in chips and pop and I made a bunch of brownies. I also gave each of my team members a hand written note thanking them for their work over the past year. Our teams genuinely appreciated the thoughtfulness of our gesture.

I think I was comfortable with a serving style of leadership because I did not view myself as charismatic. I think I was comfortable with this leadership style because, growing up, I never viewed myself as a leader. I was comfortable serving my teams because I saw myself more as a facilitator. I think I was comfortable leading by serving because I received my satisfaction by bringing a project to completion and did not have a need to get the credit. I think I was comfortable because I was, in my mind, the unlikeliest person to ever be a leader.

Turning The Knob

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. ~Alexander Graham Bell

It's easy to be the supportive shoulder to cry upon when you tell someone who has been disappointed over a missed opportunity that as one door closes another opens. It's much more difficult to look in the mirror and tell yourself that the opportunity you have been hoping for, the one you have been seeking the past three years was but a shadow, a wisp of smoke that dissipated as the winds of business changed direction yet again. 

Ever since my life took an unexpected turn a few years ago, I have been wondering what door was opening, what opportunity would come my way that would take advantage of my current life circumstances. My kids are pretty much grown and pretty much independent so there is little limit to the direction I can take my life.

The most exciting part of my job is working with people from other cultures, learning about them and and  being able to work in the context of their culture. I would like to move my job more in that direction by going on a delegation, preferably, a delegation to a country that is as far from my cultural comfort zone as possible, a yin to Americas yang. The Far East would fit that bill very well. My second choice would be to go to a Western country that spoke minimal English which would require me to immerse myself in a new language. Spain comes to mind or Portugal. I want this language/culture challenge because I feel I will grow more than at anytime in my life outside of childhood.

So, when Senior Management asked three years ago if anyone was interested in a delegation, I immediately put my name in the hat. Nothing happened until last month when I was asked if I was interested in going to India on delegation. Of course, I said yes. I thought this was the open door for me to walk through until a conversation I had with senior management today. It seems the plan to put someone into India is not going through. It was, as I feared, more a fishing expedition than a ticket to India.

Yes, I am disappointed. This disappointment is particularly hard to take because I view a delegation to India as one of those opportunities of a lifetime. I had already planned on continuing my blog while in India with an eye toward the blog becoming a book. My working title was, "May I Take Your Picture?" after my experience of being stopped a couple of times to have my picture taken with a couple of the locals. Alas, it's not to be.

So, I again experience the disappointment of unmet dreams. But I've had bigger disappointments all which I have survived and then thrived. Each time when new opportunities, new doors presented themselves, I made sure to avail myself of the opportunities. I have a strong belief that there will be another opportunity coming along in the not too distant future and it will be one that will be perfect for me. It may not be a delegation. I may never have the opportunity to live and work in a distant land. It may be that the current trajectory of my Chicago life opens a door that I was afraid to believe existed. I don't know, so, In the mean time, I will continue turning knobs until one of them opens my door.