Working Myself Sick

Burn out is theoretical, psychological, a fuzzy thing. Burn out is standing at a lathe for 10 hours doing the same thing. (in) an exciting job, you are turned on every minute and wanting more and more and more.... ~Jack Welch


I must admit to being obsessed the past few months. Not my normally obsessive personality where a hobby consumes the majority of my awake time such that I become immersed in something so deeply I learn a new skill and have a new stack of magazines sitting on the back of my toilet.

I have become obsessed with the development of my Leadership Training Program for my company so my 9 to 5 job has become a 6:30 am to 8:00 pm job. The obsession does not stop at the company walls. My waking hours have become soirée that views all sensory input from the perspective of, "how can I work this into my training program?"

What is the best progression of leadership topics for my training? Does that TV show (the one or two I watch in any given week) have an angle that would help drive home one of the multitude of leadership principles I'm am attempting to instill into my team? How can I use the scenarios in the book I am reading to develop my students? Will the next book I read have leadership undertones that will give me new insights I can share in my program? Should I read a book of fiction such that I will continue to grow my own emotional intelligence? How do I capture those seemingly random gems that pop into my head while I am riding my bicycle on the busy streets of Chicago? Should I be riding my bicycle in Chicago traffic if I am not 100% focused on the steel behemoths flying past my shoulder? When driving somewhere, should I listen to music or pop a book (leadership, fiction, business, psychology, etc) in the mp3 player so I don't miss out on the next piece of this multidimensional puzzle? What is the optimal balance of work and play and sleep?

I am not complaining. No, far from it. I enjoy wrestling with these issues. I enjoy having a focus, a passion, an endeavor, an obsession, if you will. I enjoy that my mind, when it surfaces to consciousness in the middle of the night and the fuzziness clears, is focused on improving my training program.

I feel my skills are being utilized close to their potential. I feel my company, more importantly, my students are benefitting with my myopic quest to create and executing a leadership training program for inexperienced and new leaders. I feel I am making a difference in my student's lives and the lives of the people they touch through their leadership

I am swimming in my own creative juices and watching my baby gestate, watching my baby take shape concept by concept by concept. I am enjoying work more than I ever have in my career. I am so consumed with this activity, I have found myself missing lunch, forgetting to go home from work, not caring about my gym regimen. Yes, this did lead to a slight dip in my health which resulted in me making sure I carve out time for exercise and nourishment.

Despite my health being compromised for a period of time, I have not put the brakes on this obsession because I am getting a great deal of enjoyment out of this endeavor. I never knew it could be so much fun working myself sick.